The One Where Regina Mills Gets Stuck
by MissaSissa
Summary: Regina gets a tampon stuck inside her and can't get it out. Who better to call than Emma, who she thinks is to blame. One-shot, pure fluff. Based on a true story.


**Hi all! So… I had to make an embarrassing trip to the doctor after realizing a… tampon was stuck inside me. Immediately I saw opportunity (after crying my eyes out for about 20 minutes). You guys seemed to really enjoy the period one-shot I wrote about Regina (The One Where Regina Mills Thinks She's Dying), so… here's another one! My pain and embarrassment (and Regina's) is your entertainment! Enjoy. :)**

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Emma sipped on a cup of coffee as she blinked the sleep from her eyes. It was 5:00 AM and the sun had yet to rise. She should be snuggled in under her new electric blanket, dreaming away until the smell of breakfast woke her pleasantly. Today that wasn't the case.

"Mom I'm ready!" 12-year-old Henry dashed into the kitchen, throwing his duffel bag down and digging into the cereal Emma had made for- him.

"Ready for your first trip to New York?" Emma asked with a smile. Of course he was. What 12-year-old _wouldn't_ be excited about a mom-free weekend?

Henry barely got done draining his bowl before he was slipping on his coat and pulling on his mother's arm. "C'mon! I have to be at the bus stop early if I want to choose my partner!"

Emma shrugged her brown leather jacket on, running her fingers through her slightly unkempt hair before following Henry out the door.

"So… who are you so eager to sit by?" Emma casually asked as they strolled to the bus stop where the whole class was to meet.

Henry paused for just an instant in his walking, his cheeks flushing red. Then he shrugged as if her question hadn't bothered him. "Some girl. Grace, I think her name is."

Emma smiled and shook her head, amazed at how much of her own personality had been passed onto her son despite him having been raised by Regina. Henry had a crush; this Grace wasn't just "some girl".

They reached the bus stop and Emma smoothened Henry's hair, noticing he ducked slightly to try and dodge her. His gaze darted over to his chattering classmates and he grudgingly offered Emma a quick hug before joining them. He was getting too old for affection from his moms—he was practically a teenager now.

Emma watched her son light up as he greeted a pretty blonde girl, a wide, cheeky grin on his face. He'd do just fine in New York for the weekend.

On the walk home, a somberness came over Emma as she thought back on Henry's interactions with his friend. It had been so long since she had that kind of affection and friendship from someone. She hadn't even been on a single date since settling down in Storybrooke. Sure, she was happy with her parents and her son, but was she destined to be alone for the rest of her life?

A memory of the mayor came to mind; a fairly recent one, of the time Regina thought she was dying when actually she was just on her period. For one rare moment, Emma felt wanted, accepted by Henry's mother. She had easily fallen into the role in caring for the incapacitated mayor, soothing and comforting her as best she could.

She'd even made Regina laugh. Regina had a contagious laugh, one that Emma couldn't help but join in with her own fit of giggles.

But of course, that good day still didn't outweigh the bad. Regina still tolerated Emma at best and had made certain that Emma never forgot that. They weren't friends—they were co-parents. Henry was the only thing keeping Regina from murdering Snow White and her entire family.

Emma felt differently. She had thought that fateful, stormy day had been a breakthrough in their simple parenting relationship. But just a few days later the mayor was back to barking orders and yelling at her for sending Henry home filled with sugar.

Emma had seen through that tough exterior. She had seen the vulnerability and raw emotion that the mayor often kept to herself. And maybe it was her mother's strong belief and hope that had been passed onto to Emma that didn't allow her to give up so easily.

Granny's diner came into view and Emma crossed the street to enter. Might as well get an early breakfast before she went back home to crash in her bed.

The diner was quiet, with Granny working and Marco sitting at the front counter by himself with a steaming cup of coffee in hand. Emma grabbed a newspaper and chose a booth, propping her feet on the vacant seat on the other side. If she didn't love sleep as much as she did, she would be here every morning.

Emma was suddenly jolted awake as she felt her phone vibrating loudly in her pocket. Blinking the sleep from her eyes and sitting up straighter in the booth, she glanced at the screen to see Regina's icon staring back at her. She rolled her eyes and immediately set the phone down, sipping on her cup of coffee. Regina could call her back at a more reasonable hour.

When the phone began to vibrate and Regina's icon showed once more, an uneasy feeling stirred in Emma's stomach. Had Henry's bus gotten into an accident on the way to New York? Had he gone missing? Was he ill?

Emma sighed and picked up her phone. "Yes, Regina?"

Emma's heart began to race as Regina burst into tears on the other end of the phone. The mayor _never_ cried unless it was over Henry. Something had to have happened.

"Regina what is it?" Emma demanded, her leg under the table beginning to bounce up and down nervously.

"You'resuchanidiotIknewbetterthantolistentoyouandnowthere'sacottonballstuckup—"

"Regina slow down! Take some breaths," Emma spoke, putting a tip on the counter and leaving the diner. "Is something wrong with Henry?"

A pause, then a sniffle on the other end. "No."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No! Just get over here now!" Regina snapped.

Emma arrived at the mayor's mansion and knocked, awkwardly rocking back on her heels. She was having an extreme case of déjà vu. Sure, she ended up at this house almost every other day of the week, but that was always with Henry or on her way to get him.

The door opened, and Emma's mouth nearly opened in shock. Regina stood in front of her in nothing but a familiar-looking red and black plaid shirt and a pair of black lace panties. If it weren't for the pitiful look on Regina's face, Emma would have thought she was trying to seduce her.

"Period trouble again?" Emma guessed, a little smile appearing on her face.

Regina glared at her, eyes red-rimmed and swollen. "This is all your fault, Miss Swan."

Emma nodded and let herself in, secretly pleased that Regina was turning to her for a personal crisis. "You know, Regina, I can't control mother nature. I realize you're still new to this, so I will help you—"

"Would you shut up?!" Regina snapped, her voice wavering. "I need your help."

Emma watched as the mayor yet again broke down, sobbing and covering her face with her hands. She immediately stepped forward and hesitantly put her arms around the crying woman, expecting to be pushed away. So she was quite surprised when Regina hugged her back tightly.

Emma began rubbing Regina's back, feeling a strange combination of motherly caring and shock at holding the woman she had been secretly falling for since she arrived in Storybrooke. Besides choosing to stay in town for Henry, this was the first thing that felt completely _right_ , like the last piece of a puzzle falling into place.

"I need you to tell me what's going on," Emma spoke calmly, waiting for the mayor's trembling to stop.

Regina pulled back, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and her brown eyes wide and innocent.

"Well, you know how you showed me how to use—um—those cotton things?"

Emma nodded. "Tampons?"

"My—my period ended about 3 days ago and I just discovered that there was—is—something stuck inside me that shouldn't be."

Emma's eyebrows raised and she struggled to keep a straight face. "You have a tampon stuck…inside you," she said slowly.

Regina nodded with a little whimper. "I tried to get it out, but I pushed it in further and it hurts. You have to help me."

"What am I supposed to do, Regina? You need to go to the hospital," Emma said.

Regina's mouth dropped open. "I don't want anyone important to see me like this! That's why I called you!"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks."

"I'll deal with this myself. Thanks for the help, Miss Swan." With those words, Regina stomped upstairs.

Emma had no choice but to follow. It was clear the mayor was amidst an emotional breakdown, and Emma was the only person she trusted at the moment.

Regina slammed the bathroom door in Emma's face, grumbling under her breath what Emma assumed to be a spell to curse her into oblivion. Emma knocked on the door, feeling bad for taking the situation lightly when in fact it was very serious.

"Regina let me in. I'm sorry for not taking this seriously. I'll try to help however I can."

Silence. Then a very grumpy-sounding, "Go away."

Again, Emma rolled her eyes. It was comical how much Regina and Henry acted alike, despite the fact that he shared Emma's DNA. She thought back on her parenting lessons she had begun to take twice a week.

 _Deep breaths, in and out. You're the reasonable one, keep a cool head and stay calm._

"I'm not leaving you, Regina," Emma spoke through the door, hopeful when all she heard was silence. She took that as her cue to keep talking. "If you keep that up there, it can be very dangerous. Remember how you wrote a will because of your period the first time? This time, there _is_ a risk of dying."

Again, silence. Emma huffed quietly. "You don't want to leave Henry with only one mother, do you?"

Immediately the door swung open. "You wouldn't last a week without my help," Regina snapped. "With you raising him, he'd end up a bail bondsperson or whatever you did, eating ravioli from a can and driving stolen vehicles!"

Despite the fact that Regina was trying to insult her, Emma fought to contain the laughter threatening to come out. All those times that Emma had droned on about her life back in Boston to Henry while Regina had pretended to read the paper and drink her tea paid off. She _had_ been listening, meaning she actually cared.

"Will you let me in please? The sooner we get this over with the sooner you can kick me out of your house and enjoy a kid-free weekend," Emma said.

Regina stepped back to allow the blonde in, seeming to hold back more tears from the way she kept sniffling. Emma's gaze settled on the mayor's bare legs, just now fully realizing that the woman was half-naked in front of her.

"You're gonna have to take those off." Emma gestured to Regina's panties, a flush coming across her own face.

Regina stepped out of her panties and Emma struggled to keep her eyes from bulging. Regina Mills was naked, and she was standing right in front of her. She'd had dreams about this before, but nothing compared to the real thing.

The blonde reached her hand out, hovering in-between the mayor's legs. Before she could touch, Regina smacked her hand hard. Emma yelped and yanked her hand back, frowning at the red mark forming.

"What in god's name do you think you're doing?" Regina demanded.

"What does it look like? I'm helping!" Emma snapped irritably.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to allow you to touch me there?"

"How the hell else am I going to help? What did you expect?"

Regina hugged herself and crossed her legs, biting her lip. Emma's heart softened as she realized Regina was trying to hold back more tears. She reached her hand out and laid it on the brunette's leg, a similar smile on her face as when she tried to convince Henry that his stories weren't real.

"Regina, I think we should go to the doctor. I'm not trained for this and you obviously can't reach it."

Regina shook her head, looking so small and so unlike the Evil Queen she used to be. "I can't. I won't let Dr. Whale look at me let alone touch it."

"We'll find a female doctor," Emma tried.

Regina blinked at her, tears rolling down her face. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper. "I can't."

Emma stood and embraced the woman, feeling that familiar feeling of wholeness that had fulfilled her earlier. "Sweetie, you're obviously in pain. You're lucky if you don't already have an infection. Look, I'll come with you, I'll be with you the entire time. I won't let Whale anywhere near you."

"Okay," Regina whimpered.

Emma pulled back and handed Regina a tissue. "It's time someone took care of you."

Once they arrived at the doctor's office, Emma was surprised and pleased when Regina slipped her hand into her own. She offered the woman a comforting squeeze and a smile, politely opening the door for her to pass through.

The waiting room was thankfully empty, though Whale was nearby chatting with an uncomfortable-looking female nurse. He turned to them with a smirk and Emma immediately wanted to punch it off his smug face.

"Miss Swan. Madame Mayor. What can I help you with today? Romance troubles?" Whale sauntered over to them.

"Beat it, Whale. I have reason to arrest you which I _don't_ feel like doing today when Regina is needing care," Emma snarled.

Whale raised an eyebrow. "What's your reason for arresting me, Sheriff?"

"Last Friday night," Emma growled.

Whale's face quickly paled, and he scampered away. Emma led Regina over to a chair and helped her sit. She turned to go check her in, surprised when Regina grabbed onto her tighter.

"Where are you going?" Regina asked.

"Just to check you in. We'll be in and out of here, promise."

Regina didn't let go of Emma's hand until they had ushered them back into a room and she was told to change her clothes. Emma held her steady as she stepped out of her sweatpants, neatly folding them as though she were at home.

"Damn it!" Regina cursed as she tugged at her plaid shirt. "I should have known better than to wear this. It's hideous and inconvenient."

"Let me help you with that." Emma tugged lightly at the shirt as Regina raised her arms, slipping it over her head. The blonde smirked as she noticed her own initials etched onto the white tag. "I thought this shirt looked familiar."

Regina blushed and glanced back at her. "Yes, well, with all the clothes you've permanently borrowed from me, you shouldn't be complaining about one shirt. I'm sure you have 50 more just like it."

Emma draped the shirt over Regina's shoulders, helping her sit on the exam table. "It looks better on you anyway."

Regina rolled her eyes, though Emma noticed her mouth twitched like she wanted to smile. The mayor shivered involuntarily, and Emma grabbed a heated blanket to cover her with.

"Looks like you get the royal treatment, Madame Mayor."

Regina offered Emma a smile then, slipping her hand within Emma's and lightly squeezing it.

The door opened and Whale entered, followed by a female nurse. He glanced down at his clipboard, a sharp laugh escaping his throat. Emma squeezed Regina's hand harder, glaring at the arrogant man.

"Well well. Seems it's my lucky day. I finally get to finger our lovely mayor," Whale commented.

Emma was up on her feet before she could blink. Her fist connected with Whale's face, sending him to the floor. The only sound that followed was the clipboard landing with a clatter at his feet. Whale held his jaw, staring up in shock.

"If you ever say anything like that to anyone again, I will personally pay you a visit to kick your ass all the way back to the Enchanted Forest!" Emma snarled, fist clenched in warning.

Whale glared at her and then the nurse. "Aren't you going to do something?" He complained.

The nurse crossed her arms, a smirk on her face. "No."

Emma yanked Whale to his feet by the collar of his shirt, slamming him back into the wall. "Mayor Mills deserves more respect. She gave you this job and your freedom. If it were me, I'd burn you at the stake for everyone to see. Now you get me another doctor and stay the hell away from us, do you understand?"

"Yes, Sheriff," Whale whimpered, practically running from the room as Emma released him.

Regina grinned as Emma took her seat beside her. "Dare I say I'm impressed, Sheriff Swan."

Emma shrugged as her cheeks flushed. "It was nothing. We all know Whale is an asshole."

"Emma."

Emma looked up at the softness in the mayor's tone. It took her by surprise, and for a moment she forgot how to breathe.

Regina leaned in, her hand coming up to cup the blonde's face as she kissed her gently on the lips, a silent form of expressing her gratitude. Emma kissed Regina back, reveling in the softness of her lips and the taste of apples in her mouth.

It was their first kiss, and it couldn't be more perfect. In a doctor's office, surrounded by pictures of anatomy and a 'how to cover a sneeze properly' posters, it should seem like the worst setting ever. But that didn't matter, because this was _Regina Mills_ kissing her, just like she'd imagined and so much more.

When the kiss ended, Regina pulled back and settled against the pillow she was given, mirroring the slightly starstruck look Emma was surely wearing. "I've waited a long time to do that," Regina admitted. She chuckled as she glanced around the room. "Although, I would have preferred something a bit less quaint. Like a candlelit dinner or—"

"A public restroom," Emma finished with a grin.

The moment was put on hold as the door opened, and a female doctor entered followed by a nurse. "Okay, Regina. Ready to start?"

Emma gave Regina her hand to squeeze as they prepped her. 5 minutes later, Regina was limping out of the office with a lollipop in one hand, Emma's hand in the other.

"Well, now that that's over with, what do you wanna do? You've got 2 whole kid-free days," Emma asked.

Regina glared at her, though Emma could see playfulness behind her bold stare. "Perhaps I should punish you for endangering me with your period tips."

"Or… we could start off with a candlelit dinner? Maybe have a proper date that doesn't take place in a doctor's office?" Emma offered.

Regina rolled her eyes. "Lead the way."

Emma and Regina were waiting for Henry at the bus stop when he arrived back home. Emma smiled as Henry exited the bus, hand-in-hand with Grace. Henry seemed surprised to see his moms holding hands as well.

"Busy weekend?" He inquired.

"Kid, you don't know the half of it."


End file.
